American Presidenting for Dummies

Idiot Voter!

Trump's Offensive Statements

The issue of whether many of the controversial remarks President Elect Trump has made are "racist", "xenophobic", and "misogynous" or not create long and winding debates. I'm not going to formally categorize them here, but rather describe their effect, which is to greatly offend people.

On the campaign trail, Hillary stated that half of Trump's supporters are "deplorable". She later walked it back saying that "half" was an exaggeration. However, that comment agitated many, and the fact it's still being talked about shows it struck a nerve.

Well, Trump has struck dozens of nerves in a similar way and rarely apologizes. You cannot expect so many to "just get over it".

Suggesting most our problems are caused by Muslims, illegal immigrants, and China sounds a lot like Adolf Hitler's speeches. Go ahead and invoke Godwin's Law; Trump comes frighteningly close to sounding like Adolf in my opinion. Maybe it's not intentional, but nobody really knows with him, making it quite unsettling. Is he just babbling too much out of habit, or is he Hitler 2.0?

Trump the RINO: We Might Get Lucky

This election at first appears like a disaster for progressives: GOP captured the presidency, House, Senate, and at least one Supreme Court pick. But everyone may be counting their chickens before they are hatched.

Trump is centrist. He kissed up to the right during the GOP primaries, but his history shows centrist views, or at least inconsistent stances. He is stubborn and will do what he wants regardless of what either party wants. If the GOP gets in his way, he may throw them a Supreme Court pick as a bone to chew on to quiet them for a while. Thus, we progressives may have to accept we'll take a big hit on the Court, and probably climate change. But other categories may fare better:

Health Care

While much of the GOP wants to abandon ObamaCare and turn the clock back, Trump has listed a vague healthcare program on his site. It's possible he may shuffle ObamaCare a bit, fix the parts known to have problems (GOP has blocked fixes), and then rename it "TrumpCare". As long his name is on it, he will defend and protect it. Who cares who gets official credit: feed his narcissism and a modified form of ObamaCare may survive.

Undocumented Immigrants

Mass deportation is impractical and may trigger massive riots in places like Los Angeles. Trump will probably try it, but he will encounter tough resistance and logistical problems. Instead, some kind of deal may eventually be struck whereby most are given amnesty if they pay a penalty or periodic fee. That fee may even pay for his wall. It would allow him to claim he satisfied the promise that "Mexico will pay for it", or at least many Mexicans will. This process won't start out smooth, but could end up smooth.

 
Trade and Currency Rates

Fear of trade wars has made many economists and business leaders worried. However, if Trump turns out to be a tough but effective negotiator, we may indeed get better trade and currency terms without significant retaliation. China may make a lot of noise initially, but in the end their economy relies more on exports than ours do and so they have more to lose than us: a trade war would hurt them more than it would us such that they are better off making a deal than in using heavy retaliation.

Foreign Policy

Trump shows hints of isolationism. This is helpful because his ham-handed approach to international diplomacy would otherwise be a problem. If he doesn't poke around in other yards, he's less likely to break stuff. Maybe he knows this deep down and that's why he avoids it. Meddling in the Middle East rarely gets us anything good anyhow. (Even Obama gradually tilted toward disengagement, despite GOP complaints.) Negotiating better terms with our NATO partners could also be a plus if he does it right.

Infrastructure

This is one area where Trump closely matched Hillary's position. His infrastructure plans may even be too bold for the GOP, who will be afraid it will hurt the deficit. But he can rely on Democrat backing in Congress if some Republicans give him resistance.

Taxes

Although he has waffled in the past, lately Trump says he wants to lower taxes for business, the wealthy, and everyone else. The problem is that a loss of tax revenue may inflame the deficit. He talks about cutting the size of the Federal Government to help out on debt, but it is already fairly lean due to the Great Recession and other political pressures. He may thus have to back down on most cuts to pay for his other programs.

EPA

Trump says he wants to trim the EPA. But, Trump is a germaphobe, often afraid to touch people in crowds, and thus probably cares about undesirable chemicals to some degree. I can't see somebody being paranoid of germs but not of harmful chemicals.

Thus, progressives won't get everything, but it may not the be right-wing blood bath it initially appears. Let's see what the Wildcard President actually does.

Trump in a Landslide: Election Prediction

Trump in a landslide

Trump and the Puppet Master

In a discussion forum I encountered an interesting but scary theory about Trump: he likes attention but he doesn't like to manage the details of governing.

The last time that happened in Washington DC we had Cheney running foreign policy and talking George into Iraq. George W's own father pretty much confirmed this in his autobiography.

Thus, Trump and his cocky shoot-from-the-hip style may not be the biggest problem with a Trump presidency, but rather who he lets run the show while he's out on the road bragging to world leaders about how great he is.

Republican Convention Agenda

Day 1: "Trump, about me."

Day 2: "Trump, about me."

Day 3: "Trump: Get rid of brown people."

Day 4: "Trump, about me."

Day 5: "Trump, about me."

Trumpageddon

"I'll throw the best damned Armageddon, and make God pay for it!"

Headline Summarizes GOP Debate Perfectly

This CNN website photo and headline capture the March 3rd GOP debate perfectly. The circled part reads, "Trump defends size of his penis".

Trump's Baffling Ratings

Trump claimed his ratings are so high he could shoot a man and still win.

And his ratings went UP after saying that. WE DON'T GET IT.

He could piss on Mother Teresa's grave, and his poll numbers would go up.

He could call a 7-11 clerk a "towel head," and his polls would go up.

He could re-carve Mt. Rushmore into Trumpmore, and his polls up.

He could trip an old lady crossing the street, pulls up.

And the old lady votes for him.

Could pull out a booger shaped like Hillary, and eat it on live TV, polls up.

Could mug a girl-scout, taking her cookies, polls up.

Calls that girl-scout a "dirty whore", his polls go up.

He could dress like Hitler, punch a cop, polls up.

And the cop votes for him.

Trump splits a baby in half, says King Solomon was
a flaking coward for not finishing the job. Polls up.

And both halves of the baby vote for Trump.

...And Still Win

Trump: I could shoot someone and still win

Hillary: I could use a home server for sensitive work emails and still win

Sanders: I could call myself a socialist and still win

Fiorina: I could get canned as a CEO and still win

Cruz: I can have a birth record worse than that Kenyan's and still win

Jeb: I can defend my brothers' hair-brained war and still win

W: I invaded the wrong country and DID still win

Told you not to ignore the warning signs

Future Palin Children Names

Sprocket
Thistle
Thorn
Thack
Plak
Plank
Snak
Trag
Trog
Nick
Nack
Paddywack
Give
Dog
Bone
Snap
Crackle
Pop
Pag
Tig
Hinge
Troggle
Pilf
Hypotenuse
Hypotemoose
Dermot
Brooma
Behe
Cubert
Knob
Tarddle
Novet
Noscreen
Maver
Helihunt
Joe the Baby
Ugloo
Oxicotton
Pronk
Tred
Methany
Rickmav
Rickshawn
Mavrekk
Mavwreck
Rifle
Jugular
Prock
Latrina
Dookie
Slider
Strep
Weld
Thock
Trigger
Algebra
Redwood
Honker
Truck
Phatush
Cedar
Espian
Fense
Obsesha
Sputnikki
Dent
Clutch
Twerka
Bolin
Thuck
Trug
Petrolia
Biffa
Nub
Pookie
Waggle
Brisket
Doozie.