Trump's Baffling Ratings

Trump claimed his ratings are so high he could shoot a man and still win.

And his ratings went UP after saying that. WE DON'T GET IT.

He could piss on Mother Teresa's grave, and his poll numbers would go up.

He could call a 7-11 clerk a "towel head," and his polls would go up.

He could re-carve Mt. Rushmore into Trumpmore, and his polls up.

He could trip an old lady crossing the street, pulls up.

And the old lady votes for him.

Could pull out a booger shaped like Hillary, and eat it on live TV, polls up.

Could mug a girl-scout, taking her cookies, polls up.

Calls that girl-scout a "dirty whore", his polls go up.

He could dress like Hitler, punch a cop, polls up.

And the cop votes for him.

Trump splits a baby in half, says King Solomon was
a flaking coward for not finishing the job. Polls up.

And both halves of the baby vote for Trump.

...And Still Win

Trump: I could shoot someone and still win

Hillary: I could use a home server for sensitive work emails and still win

Sanders: I could call myself a socialist and still win

Fiorina: I could get canned as a CEO and still win

Cruz: I can have a birth record worse than that Kenyan's and still win

Jeb: I can defend my brothers' hair-brained war and still win

W: I invaded the wrong country and DID still win

Told you not to ignore the warning signs

Future Palin Children Names

Sprocket
Thistle
Thorn
Thack
Plak
Plank
Snak
Trag
Trog
Nick
Nack
Paddywack
Give
Dog
Bone
Snap
Crackle
Pop
Pag
Tig
Hinge
Troggle
Pilf
Hypotenuse
Hypotemoose
Dermot
Brooma
Behe
Cubert
Knob
Tarddle
Novet
Noscreen
Maver
Helihunt
Joe the Baby
Ugloo
Oxicotton
Pronk
Tred
Methany
Rickmav
Rickshawn
Mavrekk
Mavwreck
Rifle
Jugular
Prock
Latrina
Dookie
Slider
Strep
Weld
Thock
Trigger
Algebra
Redwood
Honker
Truck
Phatush
Cedar
Espian
Fense
Obsesha
Sputnikki
Dent
Clutch
Twerka
Bolin
Thuck
Trug
Petrolia
Biffa
Nub
Pookie
Waggle
Brisket
Doozie.