Saturday, January 2, 2010

King James was "Liberal Media"?



I hope this is a hoax. If not, it is the ultimate in right-wing nutbaggativity. The Conservapedia Bible Project wants to change the parts of the Bible that they don't like.

Here's some quotes (taken as of 1/2/2009). My comments are marked with ">>>":

"The Conservative Bible Project is a project utilizing the "best of the public" to render God's word into modern English without liberal translation distortions."

"Liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations."

"But the third -- and largest -- source of translation error requires conservative principles to reduce and eliminate."

>>> Requires? I'm sure that's what the recipe stated.

"Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias"

"Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms to capture better the original intent;[5] Defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words that have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle"."

>>> Re: "using powerful new conservative terms to capture...". Hire a marketing firm while you are at it. "It's the new improved Conservative Coke, bubblier and bible-ier than ever!"

"Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction[6] by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots"..."

>>> What, you never casted lots in Vegas?

"Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning"

>>> Like, "My dear followers, your jobs will be outsourced to the Huns, who work 40% cheaper".

"Exclude Later-Inserted Inauthentic Passages: excluding the interpolated passages that liberals commonly put their own spin on, such as the adulteress story"

>>> The evidence for removal appears to be nothing more than "it doesn't fit the same style". So, if it's conservative-leaning and it doesn't fit the same style, then keep it. If its liberal and it doesn't fit the same style, then toss it. It would be fairer to cast lots.

"Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

>>> Oh those talkative ancient liberals! It's all Greek to me. Literally. The strategery of making the pie higher hurts my belly.

"... identify faulty pro-liberal terms used in existing Bible translations, such as "government", and suggest more accurate substitutes..."

>>> Maybe the Romans collected "Texas" instead of "taxes". It's all just a Big Liberal Typo.

"... identify conservative terms that are omitted from existing translations, and propose where they could improve the translation..."

>>> Hmmm, I think I'll insert "waterboarding" right.....here!

"Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Is this a corruption of the original, perhaps promoted by liberals without regard to its authenticity? This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. This quotation is a favorite of liberals, although it does not appear in the earliest and best manuscripts of the Gospel of Luke. It should not appear in a conservative Bible, because in point of fact Jesus might never had said it at all."

>>> There's a lot of stuff that comes and goes in the early manuscripts. This appears to be same biased filtering as described above under the adulteress item: keep the suspicious conservative passages but not the suspicious liberal passages.

"Socialistic terminology permeates English translations of the Bible, without justification. This improperly encourages the "social justice" movement among Christians. For example, the conservative word "volunteer" is mentioned only once in the ESV, yet the socialistic word "comrade" is used three times, "laborer(s)" is used 13 times, "labored" 15 times, and "fellow" (as in "fellow worker") is used 55 times."

>>> "Why, we are not slaves, but merely volunteers. We like the whipping, it kills our fleas." And, how is volunteerism part of the Adam Smith model? This whole statement is disturbing on many levels. What is this "justification" they speak of?

"...the ensuing debate would flesh out -- and stop -- the infiltration of churches by liberals pretending to be Christian, much as a vote by legislators exposes the liberals..."

>>> You guys miss Joe McCarthy, don't you? Maybe YOU guys are the "pretenders", Senator Craig-style.

"...this would debunk the pervasive and hurtful myth that Jesus would be a political liberal today..."

>>> Yeah, Jesus couldn't possibly be liberal. Therefore, the Bible must be WRONG. Logic! Let's just change it; make it in OUR image. We are the Creators now. Lets elect ourselves as profits.....oops I meant prophets, while we are at it. After all, the Mormons got away with it.

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